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Finding Joy

How many of us can honestly say we find joy in our life every day? The sheer fact is that, if we actively look for it, it is there. Whether it is found in the shining sun, the smiling face of a loved one, or even the things we take for granted such as our homes, it is present. Negativity surrounds us. All we need to do is turn on the television and we are bombarded with tragedies from around the world. Even on a local scale, one rarely hears good news. Instead, the media seemingly try to prey upon our fears under the pretense of keeping us “safe”. While I do not believe we should turn into ostriches and bury our heads to the reality of the world in which we live, I do believe it is important to not focus solely on the tragedies, but on the positive and uplifting stories as well. Some might argue that there are no such stories, but I disagree! While there will always be hard times for some (or all) of us, how enjoyable would life be if that was our focus day in and day out? As I stated
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Mother's Ear

Sleep, the glorious oblivion where rational thoughts and irrational fears fade. For over a week now, sleep has evaded me. I now have a “Mother’s Ear”. With two sick children - first one, then the other - I have been on constant alert. Listening for the cough or whimper that is my cue. Even as the sickness has now claimed me, I sit awake, unable to sleep to heal my body, praying for health to come to our family. Even before any illness, I believe a Mother receives her listening ears. Though not signaled by the tinkling of a bell when an angel gets her wings; ours are bestowed upon us when we hear the first cries of our firstborn. I remember lying in the hospital bed after the nurses had taken our son to the nursery to “give me some rest” in between feedings. I strained to hear his cry. To pick his out of the myriad of babies’ voices down the hall. And so it began. Isn’t it amazing, after almost six years of his and four years of hers, my ears can detect the smallest of sighs or cries
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Special Days

The sickness descended upon the boy Sunday evening. How hard it was to sit by, watch his fever climb, and see the boy, who is usually so full of energy, be so lethargic. One doesn’t fully appreciate how difficult it can be to be so helpless until a child is ill. After a call to the doctor, and his diagnosis over the phone, I did have a bit of peace. Our doctor is so soothing, and very much a non-alarmist, so I have always appreciated his consults. After a full day of high fever and much rest, our son had some spurts of energy, which I took to be a great sign. Although his temperature was back to normal during the day, it has found him every night, so again he is home. As much as I would rather have him perfectly healthy, I can’t deny that both his sister and I have enjoyed having him home. Yesterday at nap time, she sat in her bed and cried, “I want my brudder!” After convincing her that she would be able to see him after she woke, she settled in and both proceeded to take almost a 4 h
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A Grape Jam Day

Today I made grape jam - a lot of grape jam. I reveled in the time spent with my daughter at our kitchen table. Me plucking grapes from the stems, and my daughter, sitting across from me, learning letters in her workbook. It reminded me of when I was a child, spending Saturday mornings with my mother in the kitchen making bread for the week. I can still be there. Standing, waiting for my cue to add more flour, marveling at the yeast, and watching my mother’s very capable hands as she kneaded the dough - for what seemed like hours - until it was perfect. Saturday night couldn’t come quickly enough. I knew I would be able to sample one of the buns - fresh from the oven - BEFORE dinner. There is nothing like piping hot homemade bread slathered in butter and honey. I truly believe that my mother would have considered that a balanced meal (much like chocolate cake), but there would also be something just as wonderful waiting for us to have for dinner. That is my mother - that’s just what sh
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Be Grateful

Spending time this weekend with my family was very much needed after last week. There I sat, taking it all in: the sounds of my little ones laughing and playing; the constant discourse coming from my son; and, yes, the weekend serenade of Mario Kart. I was so grateful. Although this has been an extremely difficult transition for me, I am so grateful for the time I have had with my son. Not many mothers are blessed with the ability to stay at home with their children, and I have had close to 6 years with him. I can’t imagine those parents who don’t have a choice. After the six week hiatus from work, they must place their child in the care of someone else. How hard that must be. Instead, I have been able to see and be a part of all the ‘firsts’. I have seen the excitement, the frustrations, and joy. Heard the stories that only little ones can create, and I have been there to give the hugs and kisses to make it all better. Because of all those things, I wonder if that has made it harder
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Her Turn

Now that my older son is off to Kindergarten, my daughter and I have found ourselves in a new and different world. I realized that the start of school didn’t just impact my son, my daughter and I would need to adjust to our first ‘Mama time’ since she was born. Always in the past, we’ve been the trio, and now we’re down to two. I had no idea that the days would be so different. The hours passed just as they had every day previous, but they just weren’t the same. They were missing something. They were missing the laughter and giggles of our third playmate. So how do we adjust? How do we transition into this next phase of ‘just the two of us’? It actually seems a bit daunting - the job of replacing her best friend during the day. Will I keep her entertained like he did? Will I measure up to her expectations? As we are just in our first week with our new routine, we are only beginning to adjust to our time alone. I know we will find our own way, and I am excited for the journey. Still
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Perception or Reality

While playing baseball with my little boy last night, I noticed some changes in him. The way he acted, ran, and even spoke were different. Or were they? Granted, I noticed a marked decrease in ‘baby talk’, and not quite so many tears were shed. But could just two days of Kindergarten have had this profound of an effect on him, or had I changed my perception of him due to his new status as a “Kindergartener”? The more time we spent together, the more observant I became. He did seem to eat dinner a bit more quickly, and not one complaint uttered when bath time came. But the more subtle changes were more interesting to note. He just seemed older. He spoke of things he learned at school and the friends that he made. As a mom who has made it my mission to teach and prepare him for what’s ahead, it made me feel good that those skills had been learned and remembered. But as a mom who has been with him nearly every day of his 5+ years, I felt a bit left out. I do realize that he gets older e
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